Caution to the wind

It’s been a while and a lot has happened since my last post. I have thrown caution to the wind recently and it feels amazing. I haven’t really ever felt this free before but I am apprehensive of what the next year looks like.

Craig and I split in October which was more or less when I posted last. I was pretty annoyed by the whole thing, quite frankly. I even introduced him to my family which was dumb, it was a complete wirlwind of a relationship and I certainly learned a couple of lessons about noticing red flags. Now some time has passed I have come to realise Craig’s role in my life was to help me see that I can love again after Jake and build a future, despite it not actually eventuating. The chemistry was real, it was really nice being some one’s girl again, but the practicality just wasn’t there. None the less I am glad it all happened and the way it transpired.

In my work life, times have been tough. I decided I really could not stomach the idea of returning to work in the new year, I just was not feeling any sense of fulfilment so I quit, the best and riskiest decision of 2020. We’ll see how it pans out. I have no idea what I am going to move on to. If I go back into leading a sales team or try my luck at being a PA or something along those lines. Maybe I might even just make coffee again for a bit til I figure it out.

Some sad news… Dave and Nikita, my best friends have decided to leave the country and settle in New Zealand on the 12th of Jan which is gut wrenching. I am still processing it. It is what it is and I’ll find a way to live with it but it’s not great losing people who are your rocks. At least there is Zoom and I have an excuse to go to NZ now when/if the restrictions ever ease 😑.

Speaking of sad news, this one deserves it’s own post which I will hopefully find the strength to write. Django, one of my closest friends died. I hired him at Verizon back in 2017 and he worked in my team. We became friends and he visited me when I was in Thailand. When I returned he decided he wanted to live in Thailand too so he got an education visa organised and I was meant to go there this March to live with him. We were in the planning stages of it all. Four weeks ago he crashed his motorbike and didn’t make it… It has taken a lot of my energy to try and move on from this and I have not actually allowed myself to process it properly yet. When I get my thoughts together about it I will use this forum as an outlet to help me through the process.

In happier news, there has been some movement in my love life which is pretty awesome,  I have been dating a little, dabbling in Tinder world, going for beers with boys and investigating some current friendships. Recently I landed a guy from the states who makes me really giddy and makes me smile all the time and I’m excited to explore where it goes. More on that topic later (hopefully).

I have no idea what the next few months will hold for me let alone the next whole year. Based on the last two years and the imense trauma along with incredible highs I have experienced, this New Year my only resolution is to not expect anything and just enjoy the ride.