Mud is good for your skin

I was supposed to be in Italy right now but the Corona virus made that impossible. I look longingly at pictures of the places I planned to visit and watch stories put up by my friends in Italy (who are now seemingly out of lockdown) and ache at not being able to be part of it until the borders open again. 2023 they reckon.

I look at the endless pictures by my friends who are essentilly stuck in Thailand but at least the weather is warmer there. I long for the bungalow home I left on the beach on Koh Lanta where the first thing I did every morning was walk outside and have my feet in the sand.

My best friend had a baby in Singapore in February and I am yet to meet the munchkin, he will be walking by the time I finally get to meet him and that kills me.

This sucks, quite frankly and it feels like an isolated issue… excuse the pun but I am well aware it is not. It’s just another hurdle in this wonderful thing called life that no one suspected would happen and no one prepared for and a lot of people feel exactly the way I do. I guess to a degree that is comforting.. Kind of.

Whilst I dream of a time in the near future where things stablise and become more predictable I know myself enough to know that predicable is also not a great thing for me. I escaped predicable on purpose in 2018 and it landed me in a precarious position but I don’t regret it, even a little bit.

Whilst the nature of the current unpredictable climate is not ideal, I appreciate it none the less. At least I am really trying to. Right now we really have no idea what’s next and we’d drive ourselves crazy trying to guess.

Other than not being able to plan my next trip, the looming possibilty of another outbreak is making me anxious because it will affect my work significantly. Even just the uncertainty itsself is a burden on what my team at work has to do and what they have to overcome in normal circumstances let alone right now is short of incredible. They are really troopers.

My delema lies in being in a pressure filled environment where it doesnt matter what we are up against, we need to perform and I have to choose to appease the numbers or the people, it’s a very difficult task to do both.

I need a holiday, really badly, I am basically settling for a trip to Cairns in the near future but even that isn’t a possibilty right this second, just a plan I can’t quite execute.

It’s all a bit “first world problems”, I am well aware, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling just a little bit trapped.

The only solice I have is that time heals all, I know that full well from many past experiences. Patience is truly a virtue.

For now I’ll just keep trucking along even if it’s kind of through the mud. Mud is good for your skin, they say.