Ex-extrovert

For 33 years I have always identified as an extrovert. Extroverted people get their energy from being around others and I have always been at peace when I have a lot of people around me.

In recent times, however, I have come to realise that whilst I like being around people, I don’t actually want to engage in conversations with them. This has made me wonder if I am in fact as extroverted as I initially thought and was always told I was.

I have never been the type to enjoy my own company and used to avoid it at all costs. Being alone used to indicate a sense of social failure to me, I was genuinely scared of it, but recently I have reached a point where not only am I happy being alone, I actually prefer it a lot of the time. If there are people around I am happy, just as long as they don’t try and talk to me.

I think I have found some weird grey area of being an extrovert. Kind of a best of both worlds version where I am in the presence of people but don’t have to actually make an effort to talk to any of them.

Tonight after an incredibly long day I went to my local and sat alone. I was met with familiar locals who wondered if they should join me or leave me be. They found it odd that I wanted to sit alone but generally speaking, respected it.

I know its a bit weird to want to sit alone at a pub but this is how I really energise, around people but not with people, of that makes any sense…

This is tonight’s thought piece. Not profound or particularly interesting but real regardless.

Til the next random thought…