Moving on

When I invisioned what “moving on” would look like I just imagined the start and the end of it, almost like I expected it to just be a blur in time where things went from life then to life now. Where I close my eyes and *poof* it is all better, but the reality of it is vastly different.

Every day hands out a different flavour of the “moving on” journey. I have been allowing life to just happen, I haven’t made any conscious goals or major decisions and maybe that’s why the process feels so slow and lacking in direction.

With every day there is a unique emotion and state of mind, sometimes it’s incredibly positive and sometimes it is the complete opposite. Something I have realised, is the times I feel the most negged out happen to be when I allow my self feel like a victim and that is never productive.

If you are a victim of something you get to remove responsibility for how you feel and respond, I have revelled in this over the past year but I am just kidding myself ultimately. To be honest I am now sick feeling that way and I feel it’s time to really own my own “moving on” process, finally.

Much of me has been stuck in the past this last year, remembering fun times, missing people who were in my life wondering if I made the right choices, if I could get it all back and second guessing some of my decisions. I ultimately know what happened to get me to this point was needed, my life needed to fall to pieces so it could be put back together and I really need to embrace it.

The journey of moving on has been just that, a journey. Funnily enough, despite my obsession with being abroad I have not really engaged in any travel plans, clearly the virtual trip I’m currently on is more than enough to satisfy my adventure senses.

If I were to guess, I’d say I am about half way to a full recovery, by my rough math that means I should have my life and heart back in order by about September ish this year. It seems like a life time away but I have learned patience is a virtue more than ever this last year.

I am going to start enjoying the journey where I can, there is so much to love right now, my housemates, my work, my friends and my family. I just need to let myself.

Cheers to the journey ahead.